It is almost midnight.
Outside, it is dark, very dark and quiet, very quiet. No lights pierce the darkness and no sound interrupts the stillness. Only the occasional night owl calling forlornly to its mate can be heard.
Inside, my thoughts are loud, very loud. They fill the empty space around me, keeping sleep at bay. In these darkest moments of the night my thoughts appear curious, odd, strange and bizarre.
When it is dark and quiet, thoughts which during the day would not be so strange become larger than life and everyday occurrences become curiouser and curiouser, stealing sleep and causing bad dreams. Maybe the fact that there is no distraction causes the loudness of the thoughts. Simple tasks waiting the next day become mammoth mountains and ordinary events of the past day become nightmarish and repetitive.
The night hours pass slowly as I toss and turn trying to empty my mind and to invite sleep in. I feel exhausted and wish for daybreak to arrive so that I can get up and forget these curious strange thoughts which plague me in the dark.
At last the first glimmers of daylight filter through the curtains, accompanied by the happy sounds of birds greeting the new day. Relieved I get out of bed, to start the new day. The strange night thoughts are allready beginning to fade away to be replaced by more positive day thoughts.
When I think back on the past night and my strange thoughts, I realise I sound like an anxiety ridden, neurotic middle aged woman. No, I don’t think so ( at least I hope not) just an an ordinary woman facing many changes and going through a period of adjustment.
Therefore I agree with the psalmist when he wrote the following:
New International Version (NIV)
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
How do you experience thoughts in the night?