Weekly photo Challenge: State of Mind Foggy

State of Mind  Foggy.

After experiencing many losses in my life the past two years and starting out on a new phase of life, I often find myself in a foggy state of mind.

A state of mind where I wonder how I reached this point in time where I do not seem to know who I am and where I want to go next.

Foggy?  Yes, but also filled with possibilities once I can get past the fog to where the sun is shining again.

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Seasons

Seasons

Winter in my part of the world is dry , barren and brown, yet it has a beauty of its own. The sky is usually clear and crisp blue, providing great contrast to the barren branches of thorn trees and dry seed pods.

Such is life as well. We experience periods of winter but it always holds the promise of spring and new beginnings to come.

Pictures taken in the veld in the middle of winter in Pretoria South Africa

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Dance for laughter, Dance for Tears

“We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we dance for dreams.

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As the new year took off  a friend and I  joined a dance class. One for mature ladies, aptly named the Golden Oldies Class.

At the first class we were welcomed warmly and made to feel at home by both the experienced members of the class and the class teacher.

How did it feel?

Intimidating that is how.

There we were, surrounded by mirrors showing every move, every bulge, every ridiculous moment of almost falling over our own feet.

“Make peace with that person in the mirror, she is going nowhere, nor will she be 5kg. thinner and 10 years younger anytime soon”, was the advice from our teacher.

That said I tried to forget the ridiculous looking figure in the mirror and just feel the music and the movement. That was when I started enjoying dancing again.

Then our family was thrown into crisis by a particularly bad accident, causing a brother, father, brother in law and friend to be in a critical condition in hospital. Still we attended the dance class. This time dancing for tears, but also for hope, hope that he might recover. We danced for fears , fears of what might happen. We danced for screams, the silent screams kept hidden behind a calm facade. We danced for dreams, dreams of the maybes and what ifs. We found release in the joy of movement, a moment to forget that which was waiting in the hospital.  Sadly he passed away, leaving another void in the family.

Two years ago when my husband passed away the same friend  and I started walking. We walked through the days of mourning.We walked through the days when the uppermost emotions were anger and feelings of abandonment. We walked through the days  of confusion, and unanswered questions. We walked through the days of simply missing his presence.  We walked,  often crying along the way. We walked until the grieving subsided and walking became a time of togetherness and joy.

Now we will dance. Some days it will still be for the tears and with tears, for the might have been’s  and the why’s, but mostly it will be because we can still dance.

Gertrude Stein wrote these words in her book Three Lives.

“You look ridiculous if you dance
You look ridiculous if you don’t dance
So you might as well
dance.”
Therefore we will dance the dance of life while we still can for who knows what tomorrow brings.